How to change your Self Talk for your Benefit
“Except our own thoughts, there is nothing absolutely in our power.”
― René Descartes
Yes Descartes is Right
We have absolute control of our thoughts. Most of the time we, ourselves are our worst enemies.
Let me explain in simple words how our mind works: Our mind is designed to protect us all the time, constantly; Fight or Flight or Freeze response, which it works great when we are in danger, but what happens when we are not in danger. It always try to keep us in the comfort zone, or in safety or survival mode, even though, that zone is not safe for us, but it is the zone that it knows best. Like when we are in an abusive relationship and we feel we can’t get out no matter how scare we are. Lets say our mind not always works on our favor and on our happiness and to live a full life.
I want to get a better job or position: thoughts ” no I can’t I’m not prepare, I don’t have what it takes, remember the last time, I failed” So we don’t keep or encourage ourselves at all to get that new job, and we stay in the same old same old. Nothing new
Maybe I should start working for myself, open my own business (I always dreamt about that): thoughts ” and lose a steady paycheck, a steady income, with paid vacations and health insurance”, no, I just better stay where I’m at, even if it doesn’t really makes me happy. Once again, Nothing new
These are just few examples of our internal discouraging self talk, most of the time, it happens unconsciously and time passes and everything is the same, but it doesn’t have to be like this at all. If we have 100% control of our thoughts, why not changing this internal process to our entire benefit.
First thing first. Become aware of your thoughts
By using your notes option of your phone or carrying a small notebook with you and a pen, start keeping record of those limiting thoughts every single time. Be aware. Live is all about growing, expanding, giving back.. If we start thinking is better to stay because we are comfortable and is safe, then, we are never going to grow, or it might happen very very slow. If you think that family, friends, society limit us partially or completely from achieving our dreams, I invite you to take a look at your thoughts, write them down, they can be very limiting and keep us stuck.
Once you have written down those limiting thoughts or believes, disapprove them, if you know other people have done what you want, under way worst circumstances, maybe without not even half of the knowledge you have acquired; then why you shouldn’t go for it. Dot not believe every single thought it comes to you, most of the time, is not true. Thoughts are not a fact, not always.
What you want
Write down next to those limiting thoughts, what you really want to happen or be. ” Yes I can get that position, I want to get that position and I will get it because is important for me and my family, I know I can do it, I’m the best person for that job, Yes I can be a more patient person, because I’m tired of making bad decisions all the time due to not being patient. And so on, write down, focus on what you want, no matter how many times your mind try to step you out of that, if it is good for you, if it is something you really truly want, go for it.
Fear is the most powerful way to control someone. Your mind use fear or negative memories to keep you in the same place. You don’t need to start a fight with your thoughts, just start the practice to use your fear as a pushing through: ” if I stay in this job, I will never be happy, I will never be able to buy that house, and I want to be happy, I want to provide a home for my family that’s why I need to apply for that position, working as a (…….) is what I really love doing, and my income would increase by doing what I love the most.
Engage in Positive thinking
Make those (what ifs) that are usually; not to say always very negative, in positive what ifs. What if this is the best decision I have every taken in my job. What if from now on my life gets better and better, what if today I can start saving for that house that I want. What if from now on I start making better decisions, what if from now on, many other people start benefiting from this.
Let your Faith be Bigger than your Fears.
I’m a true believer that we have all the answers within ourselves, get into the habit of self-reflections every day, question your thoughts and believes, they might not even be yours, they might even be believes from mom, dad, other family members, or society.
Hey my friend you got this, No one can do it for you. The change starts with you!